I love a handsome man in a cravat.
Draw Twilight: no problem!
[Bella’s side of the audience contains all the snarky, interesting humans she never plans on seeing ever again; Edward’s is full of international sparklepires eyeing the mundanes and trying not to lick their chops. Also, we get a long, loving closeup of Stephenie Meyer in the audience.]
BELLA: Did you invite God to the wedding?
EDWARD: No… did you?
SOME MINISTER: We gather today to witness this union, finally.
EDWARD: I take you, Tasty Adoraklutz Beloved…
BELLA: Angel Cupcake Marble Adonis…
EDWARD: to stalk and to sleep-watch
BELLA: for bitch or for moan
EDWARD: for emo or for angst,
BELLA: in dazzle and chagrin,
EDWARD: to trip and fall over
TOGETHER: …so long as we both unlive.
SOME MINISTER: I now pronounce you teen bride and sparklepire! You may now make out for five minutes solid!
If only these were the actual vows, I would have more respect for the Twilight Franchise. Not much more, but some.
Can’t lie, I lol’d.
24 More Disturbing Twilight Products (a couple slightly NSFW, view at own risk)
A comparison of True Blood, Vampire Diaries, and Twilight: Part 2
Go back to Part 1, or download the whole thing.
A comparison of True Blood, Vampire Diaries, and Twilight: Part 1
This took entirely too long to put together, then ended up being too big for Tumblr, so I split it up
Go to Part 2, or download the whole damn thing.
edit: Okay, so the reason for Elena’s “supernatural trait” has been more or less explained, can’t decided if I should change the chart or not, hmm.
Best part of New Moon with Rifftrax (well, one of them).
Um, why did I never realize Edward Cullen and My Little Ponies are perfect together?!
The Secret Life of Dolls: “Home on the Range”
“Are you going to take away my ponies now?”
Is this amazing? Disturbing? All I know is I lol’d, hard.
We Were There: Cat Fashion Show at the Algonquin Hotel - Gothamist (via @atherness)
OH COME ON NOW
New Moon told through lolcats = brilliant!
My thoughts exactly.
(via i-hate-everything)
This just happened to be her expression when I paused the trailer, I think it says it all, though.
![thedailywhat:
Tweet of the Day: Astute.
Redditor jillzor adds: “Don’t forget all the bad acting.”
[reddit.]
Hehe, truest thing I’ve read all day.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l4sq6ufti21qzpwi0o1_500.jpg)
